In a minute, you are about to see a lot of very slim and gorgeous girls in bikinis. Women: we're sorry. Men: you're welcome.
The girls are all Victoria's Secret models and were taking part in something called a 'derriere competition' which just made us laugh a lot, and made the boys on the picture desk fight over who helped us with these pictures.
The derriere competition was, inexplicably, held at Alex Rodriguez' (remember him? Used to go out with Cameron Diaz and Madonna, though not at the same time) house in Miami.
We imagine that was because it was a really swanky house, and A-Rod let them have it for free, as long as he was allowed to stay around and perhaps join in on the judging panel, muttering such comments as 'No, it's just not quite pert enough' and 'Yes yes, super squidgy'.
The girls there included famous Victoria Secret lady Candice Swanpoel and two others who we don't know so well, called Doutzen Kroes and Behati Prinsloo. Well, they say they're called those names - they are possibly called Doris and Jane, but chose Doutzen and Behati because they work way better for pants modelling.
Anyway enough with all this words business - shout the nearest man over, we're about to show you some more pictures.
After the founding of the colony of New South Wales in 1788, Australia was divided into an eastern half named New South Wales and a western half named New Holland, under the administration of the colonial government in Sydney. The first European settlement in the area later known as Victoria was established in October 1803 under Lieutenant-Governor David Collins at Sullivan Bay, Victoria on Port Phillip. It consisted of 402 people (5 Government officials, 9 officers of marines, 2 drummers, and 39 privates, 5 soldiers' wives, and a child, 307 convicts, 17 convicts' wives, and 7 children).  They had been sent from England in HMS Calcutta under the command of Captain Daniel Woodriff, principally out of fear that the French, who had been exploring the area, might establish their own settlement and thereby challenge British rights to the continent.
In the year 1826 Colonel Stewart, Captain S. Wright, and Lieutenant Burchell were sent in H.M.S. Fly (Captain Wetherall) and the brigs Dragon and Amity, took a number of convicts and a small force composed of detachments of the 3rd and 93rd regiments. The expedition landed at Settlement Point (now Corinella), on the eastern side of the bay, which was the headquarters until the abandonment of Western Port at the instance of Governor Darling about twelve months afterwards.
Victoria's next settlement was at Portland, on the west coast of what is now Victoria. Edward Henty settled Portland Bay in 1834.
Melbourne was founded in 1835 by John Batman and John Pascoe Fawkner. From settlement the region around Melbourne was known as the Port Phillip District, a separately administered part of New South Wales.